


Losers Group Chat

by Eccentric_Grace



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bisexual Disaster Richie Tozier, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Gay Disaster Eddie Kaspbrak, Humor, Losers Club Group Chat (IT), M/M, Mutual Pining, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Stanley Uris is So Done, Swearing, Texting, lots of swearing, they’re all disasters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25742281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eccentric_Grace/pseuds/Eccentric_Grace
Summary: a group chat fic based on the real events of an irl groupchat. such chaos. that’s all.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 33





	1. Losers Club

**Author's Note:**

> Disaster_Demon on Pinterest and Minti_Mango on wattpad

Bill: two rights make a wrong

Bill: is that the saying???

Mike: no—

Bill: Wait what’s the saying??

Beverly: two lefts make a right

Beverly: Wait fuck

Ben: two wrongs make a right😂😂

Richie: “two lefts make a right”

Beverly: WQKJWKQKW SHUT THE TUCKF IDIFISKFOFKOG

Bill: Rip Beverly’s spelling skills

Eddie: Richie stop fucking bullying us you have more spelling errors than everyone

Stan: ^^Exactly

Richie: lmao

———

Ben: I really want oreos

Beverly: omg same 

Bill: I’ve got oreos

Bill: And Nutella

Bill: And salsa

Richie: ahaha sauce

Eddie: *what*

Richie: lmfao y’all don’t knOW

Mike: idk but I want oreos real bad  
now too 

Richie: Salsa means sauce

Richie: so

Richie: The Sauce

Ben: ugh same mike :(

Richie: The Sauce Dance

Beverly: salsa is a dance

Beverly: WOW we galaxy brained 

Eddie: salsa is nasty next question 

Richie: BITCH

Ben: can y’all not rn I just want some cookies

Richie: TPU MOMSTAT SALASA IS THAT BACKBONE OF THIS NATION

Bill: Salsa is amazing excuse 

Richie: BEV HSOOD ME BACK IMA K WORD A BIYCJ

Beverly: lmfaooo can’t believe Eddie is gonna die

Eddie: it’s like pizza sauce on meth and watered down

Richie: HOW

Richie: DRE

Richie: YOU

Eddie: i mean at least pizza sauce has sausage and like herbs and garlic

Bill: omg

Richie: YOU STAND THERE IN MY HOUSE

Richie: AMD ATTACK THE BEEY THING I STAND FOR?

Ben: I got my oreos y’all can chill now literally

Mike: can I have some

Ben: yes 

Mike: sick thanks

Richie: SALSA IS THE BEST THIGN

Beverly: why is your spelling so,,, bad

Richie: Msleep drubk oaky

Eddie: *i’m

Eddie: *drunk

Richie: wow Eds congrats

Eddie: *okay

Eddie: RICHIE PL EA SE

RIchie: I think you’re a little too young for that though,, I mean,, as ur step dad technically (me and ur mom are very close ;) I think you maybe shouldn’t drink,

Eddie: IM GONAN FUXJFIGN K WORD YOU

Beverly: drunk people are fun

Richie: I wouldn’t want to impose but,,,,, technically I think you should have dinner with the person first or like 

Beverly: HDJSKSJSHSJVSHS

Eddie: I WILL F I T W

Eddie: F I T. W

Eddie: F I T E

Beverly: fite*

Richie: that’s just how I would do it. Wouldn’t want to change your life choices

Eddie: omzgGfFffF

Stan: I leave for FIVE MINUTES

Beverly: hahahaha


	2. Losers Club

Richie: WH IF I GO TO BED NOW ILL THINK SATNES TRYING TO KILL ME

Eddie: WH

Eddie: no sorry but not allowed you have now been 💓💖💝✨🅱️lessed™️🙏😇✨💖💓💗

Richie: BLESSED BY FUCKING DIRK

Richie: **DIRT

Richie: ALTHOUGHT THAT WORLS TOO

Stan: wow

Eddie: Fuckign ,,, d I r t?

Eddie: ???????d i r t??????????

Richie: RHATS WHAT SHE AAID

Stan: What The Fuck is wrong with Richie

Eddie: I can’t believe the nerve™️

Richie: ITS ALMOST MIND NUGHT

Beverly: This just in: Richie cant handle his nighttime hours

Mike: he’s completely sleep wasted at exactly 11:52pm

Bill: go tf to sleep 

Stan: ^^

Ben: ^^^

Beverly: y’all are no fun

Richie: GOOGLE IS FOR SLEEP

Eddie: kelsndmkendn

Beverly: can someone look up side effects of staying up too late

Ben: Sorry bev:( screen time says no™️

Beverly: damn

Richie: AHAHHHHAH

——

Eddie: what up My names Eddie and I never fucking learned how to breathe

Bill: Get your fucking inhaler

Richie: that’s my fucking line

Bill: sorry Richie

Richie: eds do you need me to bring you an inhaler

Eddie: Please

Richie: k brt 

Beverly: Aww boyfriends 

Ben: uwu

Mike: y’all need to DATE

Eddie: everyone stfu

——

Bill: why does food colouring taste different depending on the colour

Bill: never mind the fact i’m slightly allergic i need to know

Stan: Please don’t eat food colouring if you’re allergic

Bill: You Dont Own Me

Beverly: I am living for bill being his own strong independent Asian American woman who don’t need no man

Bill: everything about that was wrong

Stanley: Yeah also Bill is strong so 

Richie: gæ

Bill: Richie shut the fuck up and go kiss Eddie

Richie: WH

Eddie: excuse me

Beverly: lMFAOOO

Richie: SICNE WHEN WAS I INVOLVED IN THIS THE FUCK

Stanley: He’s right, you know

Richie: thanks stan

Stanley: Not you

Stanley: Dumbass

Richie: I feel—So Hurt,,,

Mike: 1 like=1 prayer for Stan to stop roasting the shit out of Richie

Eddie: suddenly there are only dislike buttons

Richie: wow can’t believe I’m being bullied

Eddie: I Can

Ben: wow lmao


	3. Losers Club

Eddie: my new inhaler is this fucking bright ass yellow and I hate it

Ben: aw sorry:(( you could paint lemons on it?

Richie: lmfao I

Richie: yeah do what Ben said ;)

Eddie: fuck off Richie

Eddie: also I can’t it’s a really ugly shade of yellow

Beverly: Wait like neon yellow?

Eddie: no like

Eddie: not lemon yellow

Eddie: not orange orange

Eddie: but like

Eddie: hella ugly

Stanley: Ah yes, thank you for clarifying. I know exactly what you mean now.

Richie: Listen Listen,

Stanley: No

Richie: he’s trying his best omg

Beverly: lmao

Mike: carrying that around would kill me

Ben: mike is secretly a fashion icon and carrying around a yellow inhaler would be the End-

Eddie: akajkajsksnkd 

Stanley: I have to carry the weight of the thousands of souls I have murdered silently as if everything’s normal when it really isn’t. I have to push through and pretends like everything’s okay, when really I can hear their many screams echoing in my head

Stanley: It hurts mes 

Stanley: *me

Richie: rip Mes 

Stanley: Fuck off it was a typo

Bill: Bet bitch, you sang Rasputin on helium I don’t believe u could hurt a Fly

Richie: AHAHHAHA I REMEMBER THAT

Mike: he WHAT

Ben: oh my goodness when did this happen lmao

Beverly: ^^^^LMFAOOO

Stanley: Bill,,, I cant believe you had the nerve

Bill: :)

Stanley: ugh fine I forgive you 

Richie: :)

Stanley: Ew

Richie: I

Eddie: lmfao me

Beverly: Stan is a straight up savage lmfao

Ben: he really said “Ew”

——

Richie: a squad of crows called a death, right?

Stanley: Everything in that sentence was wrong

Ben: I’m- KANWKANWKSNEJ

Richie: Wait what is it then?????

Bill: I’m 

Eddie: “I’m” -Bill 2020

Eddie: also dumbass it’s called a flock not a fucking squad 

Richie: same thing

Stanley: Also it’s called a murder, not a “death”

Beverly: lmfaooo a squad of crows is called a death

Ben: bev no😂😂😂

Stanley: Sigh

Richie: fuck yeah Bev lmao

Eddie: ugh

Ben: lol

——

Richie: 40 seconds 

Bill: ??

Beverly: What the fuck does that mean omg

Eddie: he’s going to K word all of us

Mike: WHAT DOES THAT M E AN OMG

Stan: I bet he’s gonna do something stupid

Beverly: I feel like we’re about to get murdered for sure

Ben: oh yeah totally

Richie: that sounded really fucking ominous I meant it took forty seconds for me to drink an entire glass of chocolate milk through a straw 

Eddie: you’re a fucking idiot, richie 

Stan: I told you

Ben: hahahahshhskshsj 

Beverly: Richie What the Fuck😂😂😂😂😂

Richie: lmao

Ben: Yeah I thought you were gonna like count down and then do somethign

Mike: “somethign”

Beverly: don’t make fun of him ajhsjshdh 

Mike: oh damn aright my bad

Bill: anYwAys

——

Bill: GUYS

Bill: WHATS RED AND SHAPED LIKE A BUCKET

Richie: a red bucket

Beverly: the blood of the innocent 

Mike: that’s not in the shape of a bucket, bev

Beverly: it is if you’re bad at cleaning 

Mike: I

Ben: actually bev it would be like, a clear bucket or something with blood in it

Beverly: o yeah ur right ben 

Beverly: WHAJEVJA RICHIE ANDHQKWBWKWN

Bill: A RED BUCKET AHDUEHDJEJS

Eddie: dumbass 

Richie: u know you love me ;-)

Eddie: dumbass

——

Ben: Guys what’s the best cookie 

Stan: snickerdoodle

Bill: Or papajohns chocolate chip cookie dough/cooki

Beverly: eWhat

Beverly: *no ehat just e

Beverly: fuck my keyboard

Richie: ;-)

Beverly: not literally guys


	4. Losers Club

Richie: are people here

Richie: I feel like I haven’t heard from people all day are y’all okay 👀

Beverly: hdiahdihwdhiwdihdwcartoonswjnfsjncsjbfjebfeubf

Ben: I’m sensing a message

Bill: “cartoons”

Beverly: jbdjbajcjbwhatknscbkcksncmakeswjbdjbdwyoubjfjbjbsfthinkfjfhjdfhjhidfthatkdjfdkhfjdfhj

Mike: “what makes you think that”

Richie: what kinda cartoons bev

Beverly: jihfihsfuefuhebuflesbianknvjdhvjdghidhfihefhkdkhsfkhfscartoonsksfnkshfkefhkehfiehif

Richie: oh sweet those are my favourite cartoons B-)

Eddie: shut ur gay ass up

Richie: no u Eddie my loveeeee :-))

——

Richie: because Eddie won’t fuckin understand that the hammock is N O T meant for two people I have a public service announcement 

Richie: hi my name is gay gay and my friend is laying on my foot

Beverly: “friend”

Stan: “friend”

Bill: “friend”

Mike: “friend”

Ben: “friend”

Richie: shut yo dumb dumb bubblegum bitch ass the fuck up

Eddie: “friend”

Beverly: HAH

Stan: lmao you guys are dumb

Beverly: Stan is so right but the fact that he texted Like That is making me laugh a little too much

Richie: nobody asked stan B-(

Bill: wait no he has a point

Mike: ^ yeah let the man speak

Richie: I hate it here y’all are the worst

——

Beverly: i look like a Soft LesbianTM rn and idk how to feel about it

Richie: —Eddie, probably 

Ben: haha

Eddie: Shut the fuck up richie I just like pastels 

Richie: ik that’s why I said that

Bill: lmaoo

Stan: Bev, why do you look like a soft lesbian?

Beverly: just cuz

Mike: damn alright


	5. Losers Club

Richie: hey if i have 2 candles lit and in incense burning, what are the odds that the rosemary and lavender next to them will catch on fire

Stan: 101%

Mike: pfff

Ben: please don’t make plants catch on fire

Mike: is anyone gonna ask why he’s burning incense and candles next to lavender and rosemary???

Richie: I’m lighting my moms candles cuz she asked me too duh 

Eddie: dumbass

Bill:   
Nobody:   
Richie: does literally nothing  
Eddie: dumbass

Beverly: hahahahah  
——

Bill: I have done a very bad and unforgivable thing

Mike: what

Bill: I forgot to water my plants and take them out of the sunshine

Beverly: YOU HEATHEN

Bill: Two of them are on the brink of death from dehydration and the other ones are badly sunburned, which is upsetting because I put them in the extra sunshine so they wouldn’t die

Richie: F

Stan: Oh nooo

Bill: yeah 

Stan: They don’t need that much sun, honey. Make sure to give them extra water.

Richie: Wait a damn minute 

Bill: yeah I

Bill: wait did you just call me honey

Beverly: oOOOOHHH

Mike: hold the phone oMG

Ben: woahhh reddie has a contender 

Stan: Wait

Beverly: STILL

Eddie: wtf is reddie

Richie: no no obviously it’s Ban

Ben: Btan

Stan: No

Beverly: damn he said “no”

——

Richie: i just had A ThoughtTM

Eddie: wow seriously?

Stan: You’re capable of such things?

Richie: if someone says “wAtCh yOuR fReNcH” when you curse look the dead in the eyes and say in a french accent “hon hon hon bitch be gone”

Beverly: I 

Stan: Don’t do that.

Bill: Richie what the fuck lmaoo

Eddie: Richie for one second can you not I swear

Richie: hahahahah it works though

Eddie: Shut the fucj up 

Beverly: “fucj”

Ben: bev no omg aihsjshsja


	6. Losers Club

Bill: I tried to cook an egg without the burner on again

Mike: sigh

——

Beverly: Richie you need that shirt where it’s like “I’m not gay but my husband is”

Eddie: excuse me

Richie: ugh yeah I do

Stan: Both of you need it.

Eddie: excuse me

——

Bill: HEJDHSHDBDB I ALMOST JUST SET MY HAIR ON FIRE

Beverly: WHAT DID TOU DO SOAHOQHWOWB

Stan: Are you okay??

Richie: HOW THE FUCK

Bill: I WAS MESSING WITH A CANDLE AND I LEANED IN TOO CLOSE TO IT AND MY HAIR SINGED ON THE ONE NEXT TO IT

Bill: IM A DUMBASS

Ben: jdjdndnf

Beverly: y o u a r e .

Richie: BRO AKHSKANWJ

Eddie: DUDE

Eddie: DONT FUCKING DIE PLEASE

Stan: ^

Beverly: ^

Ben: ^

Mike: ^

Richie: ^

Bill: I CAN TRY IG BUT IM NOT REALLY SURE THAT I CAN DIE

Beverly: YOU CAN YOU MORTAL PLEASE DONT CATCH YOURSELF ON FIRE TGAT WOULD BE EXTRESMPLY PAINFUL

Richie: AKHWKAHWKJA

——

Ben: you can sing most of emily dickenson’s poems to the tune of the pokémon theme song

Bill: omg you can

Richie: I think Emily dickenson’s a lesbian

Beverly: STJNKITGHKWHWJ

Stan: Partial credit

Eddie: damn 

Mike: I cannot BELIEVE stan knows John mulaney 

Richie: he hangs out with us mike of course he does

Mike: fair

Beverly: I

Beverly: KAHAKWBKABASNAVNW

Beverly: I WENT TO TYPE EMILY DICKINSON AND ACCIDENTWLLY TYPED LESBIAN IN YHE CHAT BAR SO

Richie: LMFAO

——

Richie: do you think that i can cook a pop tart over a candle

Eddie: I fucking can’t believe you some times 

Bill: yeah

Stan: Don’t do that

Beverly: do it lmao

Mike: YEET our

Mike: wtf

Mike: **try it

Richie: lmao 

Eddie: mike’s autocorrect gave us a message from the gods

Richie: KSHAKAHAJAKJW


	7. Losers Club

Ben: green tea tastes fine but if you leave the tea bag in it tastes like you’re drinking crushed up dried leaves 😌

Stan: Tea bags? Are crushed up leaves?

Ben: yes

Eddie: tea tastes good as long as you take the teabag out

Ben: not for every tea!

Richie: I’ve only had one type of tea

Beverly: I leave the bag in the tea every time I make tea

Ben: I usually leave the bag in just in case I want to make a second cup (which I usually don’t)

Bill: yeah idk I don’t drink tea that much

Richie: I only drink two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen 

Stan: Do you though

Eddie: ^^

Mike: lmao

Richie: actually I rarely even drink that-

Stan: Exactly

——

Richie: hey Eddie

Eddie: shut the fuck up richie no you cannot come over to “fuck my mom again” you fucking asshole

Richie: figured I might as well ask 😌

Beverly: *touches soil* something terrible has happened here

Mike: I JUST

Bill: lmfao

——-

Bill: In 5 million years men will cease to exist

Stan: Good

Beverly: anyways so,

——

Eddie: I-:

Richie: Aww why the line face

Beverly: did you just make a fucking pun

Eddie: Richie square up, actually, because I

Mike: BAHAHAHAHJAJ

Bill: omgGjGKWHAK😂😂😂

Richie: wait how is that a pun???

Beverly: I stan the accidental pun

Richie: what??? Accidental pun???

Eddie: .

Richie: that doesn’t answer my question

Richie: what fucking pun 

Stan: I’m losing my mind right now

——

Beverly: BQGJAGWJAGAHFAHAGHAFWVVWGW

Bill: what

Beverly: I PUT THE GROUP CHAT IN WORD COUNTER AND SKHSKAHKQBWKABBAHAHAHHAVEJAH

Beverly: OUR DUMBASSES ARE COLLEGE GRADUATE READING LEVEL IM LAUGHIGN SO FUXKFING HARD 

Ben: I

Stan: Actually how

Richie: i thought that said college grandma-

Eddie: Richie shut your fuck up

Mike: lmaooo


	8. Losers Club

Beverly: guys I have a new face

Mike: oh send

Ben: yes please send!!

Beverly: [|87

Richie: ?

Beverly: plague doctor

Richie: oHHHH

Eddie: wkshkaha omg

Beverly: it’s got a little hat and a little mask

Bill: ¥anaxhbf 

Bill: *amacing

Bill: I’m not even going to correct that

Ben: it looks really cute!

Beverly: thanks guys

——

Richie: if i punch myself and it hurts am i weak or strong

Beverly: oh I’ve seen that post

Mike: uhhh??? 

Eddie: same bev, and that’s why I’m complied to say, you’re fucking dumb that’s what you are

Richie: ok but what’s the answer then

Stan: Yes

Richie: that’s not an answer 

Stan: That’s my answer 

Beverly: ask an impossible question you get an impossible answer, that’s how it works my guy

Mike: wise words

Beverly: truly lmao

Richie: why does it work like that

Bill: that’s just how the cookie crumbles, compadre

Eddie: lmao

Ben: akhakwhakdhm

Richie: well who said that

Stanley: I Did, Bitch

Beverly: KAHAKAHLUWKAUQOJAOQ 

Bill: OH YM TODHEOSHIQBWJW

Richie: and just like that i’ve been killed

Eddie: Stan over here doing gods work lmfaooooo

Mike: LMAOOO

Ben: I’m -

——

Richie: that moment when you put your headphones in and play music and the volume turns itself up really loud for no reason so you just *LOUD GUITAR* I WAS BORN FROM THE SOUND OF STRI-

Richie: my ears hurt smh

Bill: KSHAKAHJA

Mike: dude no lmao-

Ben: look at this nerd who isn’t already kinda hard of hearing from turning their headphones on full blast all the time

Beverly: omg

Eddie: did ,, did Ben just call Richie a nerd

Mike: HE DID

Stan: Ben, you’re my new favourite 

Eddie: ^^^BIG SAME

Ben: I did say that sorry Richie

Bill: wow I

Richie: I will throw hands, staniel 

Richie: Ben ur off the hook,,,for now

Stan: Do you have a stash of hands to throw at me? Or is that a false statement?

Beverly: STAN SNAPPED SUHSKAUWKAJKA

Bill: I’m laugdjtnbn so hard rirvht now ogmfbndbdnsbd

Richie: my dude that text was unreadable please learn how to type 

Bill: no you

Mike: damn he said “no you”

Richie: ANYGAYS staniel look at the sky

Richie: the sky is a hand

Richie: the clouds

Richie: are hands 

Stan: Wrong

Richie: you don’t know that

Stan: The sky is a mouth and it WILL chomp you

Richie: o damn

Beverly: hey guys what the fuck?

Ben: I’m so confused but I don’t want to ask

——

Richie: the cure has some really deep and meaningful lyrics such as

Richie: “let me take your hands,,,,,I’m shaking like milk”

Richie: what the FUCK does that mean I’m cackling this is such a good song

Eddie: you,,,, astound me 

Bill: woah what the fuck Eddie is being nice to Richie??? @ everyone 

Beverly: WHAT???

Ben: oh wow

Mike: lmaoo

Stan: I hate it here

———

Richie: us gays stole the rainbow

Richie: and i’m just saying that there’s only one of it and 7 billion of us

Stan: That’s not how any of that works

Stan: Like, at all

Eddie: There’s actually multiple rainbows dumbass but ok 

Richie: we stole the rainbow sorry I don’t make the rules 

Eddie: we didn’t steal shit 

Richie: maybe you didn’t

Beverly: omg

Mike: the power in that reply is absolutely bonkers 

Bill: wait bev add this to the list of times where Eddie calls Richie a dumbass endearingly 

Beverly: already done dude

——

Richie: another joke, another day where Staniel decides that I must Perish for the crimes I have committed 

Stan: Sorry you decided to Perish

Bill: you’ve gotten the death sentence from him like,,,,, 4 times today,,,,

Beverly: LMAO

Richie: “you’ve gotten the death sentence from him like,,,,, 4 times today,,,,” it was bound to happen

Eddie: yeah

Ben: he really just said “yeah” and that’s it omg

Mike: alshjahsjs


End file.
